It’s an Arduous Walk

 

Infant cries, wordless fight; falls and highs, you got to fly,

You ought to be ahead, was the very first talk.

From crawling to running, it’s an arduous walk.

Numbers, dance,  or romance; sports, science or speech, 

Its a race you can’t just mock,

 From home to school, it’s an arduous walk.

Win some, loose some, you have seen enough,

What you like, doesn’t matter much, societal goals are deadlock,  

From young to wise, it’s an arduous walk.

Morning calls, Late night jobs, charts are antidote, you have hundred lines to decode

Huss and buss, you can not balk

From learning to earning, it’s an arduous walk.

Meet and greet, think you have time to sleep,

But still you grind, full soul and mind, you never thought when you tied the knot,

From child to parent, it’s an arduous walk.

Long was the battle, now its time to settle,

But see around you, so much is same,

Rat race is on, your young self is going on,

Deja vu, but its not you, all you hear is squawk,

From life to grave, it’s an arduous walk.

 

 

Coincidence or Destiny

Audrey has been sitting in the cafe for the past hour. Today she was meeting with her best friend, Talia. Last one year has been difficult for her. Her boyfriend left her for a model, she can’t even blame him, the model was way too hot to resist. Her manager at work was being tough. Her parents got divorced. Audrey was so much busy digesting this  bitter phase of life that she has been avoiding her friends and family. Today, breaking the shackles of past, she decided to move on and start new day by meeting her best friend. Audrey and Talia go back to school. From school work to slumber parties , they were always together.

Today is no different, she thought. May be her life is just one grey day. She began thinking, how the string started last year when Talia got flu and she had to go for shopping alone. It was there she met Benzo. He was shopping alone because his friend had bailed on him. Audrey helped Benzo in selecting dress for his next audition. Shopping led to dinner and in no time they were attending christmas dinner together. But by the new year, Benzo already fell again for a new model. Audrey , as she always does, escaped; moved to another city and took a job. But her new job was no piece of cake. After all these, her parents just got divorced, which was her tipping point. She was too young to take on so much so she decided to take it easy. But, even today, Talia dint turn up.

As she was leaving, she tripped. As soon as she tripped, she saw someone laughing. It was then she met Felix.  Felix was handsome and jolly person, he had been watching Audrey for an hour. but before he could say hello, Audrey decided to leave. It was not the best start, but who said perfect relationship has a perfect beginning.

Today, its been 15 years, Audrey and Felix have seen tears and joy, pain, success and failure together. It was a series of coincidences which led Audrey to the coffee shop at the same time as Felix. Was it really a Coincidence or Destiny, Audrey thought.

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“So many environmental studies and resource conservation programs to save Planet earth, what about the decreasing love among families, communities, religions, nations, how will we save ourselves from that”

Promise for Love…

It was a usual Friday morning. I was, in my pyjamas, sitting in the park. Ducks were floating in the calm pond water. Thin layer of clouds covered the sun but couldn’t stop the rays from covering the pond water like glittering gold. The city was still sleeping but  squirrels have started their day, they have to collect food to last whole winter.  While I see people in tracks pants, with earphones in ear, running and hopping, I can barely open my eyes. I was playing the dream I had last night. I had a magic pot and it ate me, I opened my eyes. I smiled, human mind is a bundle of clandestine thoughts. As I was thinking, I saw her. She ran past me, but I can’t get my eyes off her. I was looking around, and then I saw her taking second lap.
After that day, I started going to the park daily, not for jogging, but for her. She runs in the park, takes coffee, walks back home. I’m going to talk to her today on the way to home. Here she is! “One small cappuccino”, she says. I know she will come and wait here for her coffee.

Me: “hello, Good running?”

Her: “Pretty good, it’s the best time of my day”

I was on cloud nine, this was her best time of the day and I was glad to be a part of it.

Her: “I’m Priya”

Me: “Abhi, short for Abhimik”

Her: “I have a confession, I saw you in park and then coffee house, and I have kept my routine the same ever since I saw you”

She smiled and felt a little embarrassed at the same time. But I couldn’t help and burst into laughter.

Me: “Really, I rehearsed hundreds of sentences to speak to you today, but never imagined to hear this. I have a confession to make too.”

She glanced up in my eyes, unaware of that friday when I first saw her in the park and then in the coffee house.

Me: “I saw you, 16 days ago, and that was the day when I decided to start jogging”

We looked at each other and smiled, there was so much that we said in that moment of silence.

Her: “So I don’t have to take this coffee everyday to see you, I don’t like it anyways.”

Me: “No, no, this coffee is really not good, lets go to Starbucks”

For next five days, we shared our interests, stories and both of us felt intimate. we had never ever felt this way before. I Pampered her, loved her from the moment I saw her.

Me: “Priya, promise me, we will spend whole day together today”

Her: “I have to go to Delhi urgently, a family emergency has come up. I promise, we will spend whole day together tomorrow”

Okay, I thought, I will have something special planned for her. I will propose her on Sunday.

Me: “Call me when you reach Delhi, don’t forget. Love you”

Her: “Love lots, Byee”

She must have reached Delhi by now, but why didn’t she call me. She might have been  busy with family. A day felt like a year without her. I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, tomorrow is a big day for me.

I waited for her in the park. Being late is not her, but may be she is tired and got up late.Then she came, she was looking beautiful. We started the day with a walk in park. I had planned some adventures but she wanted to spend time with me in my arms. The day couldn’t have been spent better, but it was coming to an end.

Her: “I have spent some very good days with you, I do not have any regret in life now”

Me: “We have our whole life left and I bet we will have better days”

Her: “Promise me, you will be strong no matter what happens, you will give that GMAT, go for higher studies and will live every moment of life without holding yourself back.”

Me: “I have lived every moment since I met you and I promise we will live more to come. I have to say something”

She stopped me in the middle. Her: “Don’t say it. I have loved you and will love you in all my lives. I think today is not the day to say it, It’s time now. Would you drop me to my place ?”

I felt something but it dint bother me. I can say it tomorrow. Me: “Let’s go”

I dropped her at the gate of her house and took off.

The day was done, I slept. Next morning I dint hear from Priya, her phone was also off. It got me thinking. I din’t  know any of her friends or family. one day turned to three, I kept thinking what went wrong after the perfect Sunday. I couldn’t resist it more. I got up and decided to pay a visit to her house. I reached there, trembling.

Knock Knock! Someone opened the door.

Me: “I’m Abhimik, Priya’s friend, I couldn’t reach her on phone and had some urgent work, can I speak to her please”

The man just stood there, like a stone.

The man: “Abhi, I’m Priya’s brother. Priya and my parents were on way to Delhi on Saturday, when they met an accident and …………………never came back”

I couldn’t believe my ears. It felt like a blow, my heart ached.

Me: “But…….No No…. Sunday……I dropped ….at night…….spent day. This is Priya awasthi’s house?”

Her brother opened the gate and there I saw her but it was a portrait with a garland on it. I turned away.

I remembered the day we spent together. How could I explain it. She was with me whole day. She kept her promise to spent the day with me and asked me of a promise not to hold myself back. She came back to me for my love and gave me a reason to live my life. It’s been 25 years since then. I have a kid and a family. I’m keeping my promise for her love.

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” Today will fade into past, but there will always be tomorrow, don’t dwell in the things not completed today, focus on plans for tomorrow “

It’s Time to Resign..

I wrote the title of this post 3 years ago. 3 years gone, here I am, on the same page of the book of my life, writing the content of the same post. Deja-Vu! Let me rewind and show you how I penned the title, but never completed the writing.

Like any other youth I was bored of my job. It sucked to go and burn my ass off doing some work which I did not fancy doing, at all. All my friends were getting out too, I said good bye to all of my friends, I started to feel more lonely. At the same time, I got kicked out of several interviews. I was gloomy. Then, one fine day I decided to quit it anyways. I had no plan or strategy, the only thing I knew, I didn’t want to go that desk of mine, I knew it was time. That was the day when I wrote the title. But, then something happened, out of the blue, I got a different role. A 180degree change in my work life. And, I never got to write the content part of the post.

It feels like I’m breathing the same air. I have started hating this chair, kicked out of many interviews, have no future plans. The thought of being at home doing nothing itches me every second of the day. But, it’s time again! So here I am, writing the post. I have a fear that this time the post will be completed. A part of me is waiting that the silver lining will be there again. But, as far as I see, I am at the end of the post and still in resignation state.

I watched the movie to cry

Recently, I watched a heart touching movie. It showed family, marriage, pain, loneliness, selflessness and an incomplete love. Once I started the movie I had to watch it. In the end, I could feel the suffering of a girl who left her love for family but only to suffer in her new married life. After years, one afternoon, her love showed up at the door. She quickly dressed up with the only silk dress she had. They talked for hours. Both of them built a facade of a dreamy and the most beautiful picture of life in front of each other. Slowly, the movie goes on, the man learnt of the struggle of life and survival his love of life was going through and the women about his financial problem. They can not confront each other, because even after these years, they do not want to hurt each other. In the end, both of them helped each other silently, in the way they can, and walked away again thinking what their life could be if only they had been together. The movie was slow but the depth of lost love reached it Crescendo during the final moments and I was almost sulking.

I talked to one of my friends about it. He is a person who would not understand how could I feel a movie, because he could only watch it. He also told about his mother, how she would watch the most tragic movie ever and when asked what is it that makes her watch them, she would say that she watched those movies to cry.

Her reply stuck in my mind. We spend whole life running, proving, achieving and competing. We have always been taught to sweep our weakness under the rug and put up the strongest face on the table. Our heart is a pandora’s box and we keep the box closed. Once in a while our heart wants out. But our fear can not let it out. Hence, we seek different ways to open it up. I realized, just like my friend’s mother, I watched the movie to cry.

To say good bye

Standing tall and strong, Enduring all the storms,

Day changed, weather changed, never changed your form.

I look into your eyes, Complete and incomplete bunch of stories,

Extent of History, Depth of Artistry, Human glory.

Here I am, dreaming and hoping, stumbling and rolling,

Taking on your spirit so sporting, I keep strolling.

You embrace and empower me, Elevate and inspire me,

You amaze and excite me, dignify and gratify me.

You have become a part so integral,

To say good bye will be sad and difficult.

I Forgot to…

S long I yearned to leave you,

I forgot to halt and cherish you.

So Long I disparaged you,

I forgot to take pride and walk with you.

So long my eyes wandered far away,

I forgot to appreciate the beauty nearby.

So long I kept chasing the thrill,

I forgot to breathe the air so tranquil.

So long I dreamt of glorious tomorrow,

I forgot to live in precious today.

So long I  was engrossed in making plans for you,

I forgot to spend Priceless time with you.

You and I will continue…

I’m walking on sand and gravel,

The wind blows past my face, rejuvenating my every cell,

My iPod sings melodeous song,

I think of yesterday, when I came here,

New city, people, new chapter of life,

Today, I have your color on me,

I live and breathe you, I adore you,

I laugh and cry with you, I cherish you,

Tomorrow, I  will have to leave,

But, You and I will Continue,

You will go ahead without any bumps,

I will walk away with room full of memories,

I will walk away to find new paths,

You will have someone new to welcome,

I  will have something new to appreciate,

But, You and I will Continue…

But, You and I will Continue…